Dinah McLean: DM, Bard, Coach

If you're a proud nerd with the initials DM, naming your business DM Coaching is a no-brainer. "Oh, hey, it's for Dinah McLean AND Dungeon Master! This person might be able to relate to geeky ol' me and help me reach my goals!"

With a dragon-shaped bowl I found for my dice.

It is certainly true that I have a tendency to weave a cornucopia of pop culture references throughout coaching sessions. It's a language that comes to me naturally, and the world of entertainment offers an endless supply of relatable images, archetypes, stories, and metaphors for my clients.

Additionally, the whole world of Dungeons and Dragons offers its own special lens through which one can approach coaching, and it is one I truly appreciate and enjoy.

For example, in both DnD and coaching, it's usually best to begin with clear expectations. Before a campaign, a DM might outline how logistics work in their game, which rules they're strict on and which ones they aren't, and what kinds of players they want at their table. As for the players, pre-game strategy can include letting the DM know what kind of topics they'd like to stay away from or establishing some "lines and veils" for how to navigate story elements that might catch them off guard. And it's a great idea if the DM and the players are on the same page as to what constitutes a "good game."

In coaching, we call this "Designing the Alliance." In session one, my client and I will clarify their goals, and also talk about all the things that will make our coaching relationship as successful as possible.

Other parallels fall directly within some of the cornerstones of the Co-Active coaching model, such as the way we're trained to "Dance in this Moment." If you've ever watched DnD played, you know that the best games happen when the players basically say "Yes, and" to everything. Is that because the Venn Diagram of improv comedians and professional games has serious overlap? Yes. And, it's also a skill that all RPG enthusiasts pick up over time--the more we listen and respond to what's happening in real time, and the less we get stuck in our own plans, the more the story opens up into surprising adventures.

This is obviously key to good coaching as well: if I stay focused only on my plans, opinions, and agenda for my client, then I might give them some good advice, maybe? But if I allow each moment to unfold based on what's happening in real time--that's where client makes magic of their very own.

Now, sometimes that magic includes sessions going in unexpected directions. "I thought we were here to talk about my resume and somehow I've committed to make a pie, Dinah." Yes, well, that can happen and, true story: two of my clients have made pies. (Their idea, not mine, both times.) With DnD, a party can kick off a session in high spirits and end the night battling to keep characters alive, just because of the roll of the dice. In either case: outcomes can be determined by circumstances outside of our control and/or the choices we make.

DM the DM in action

In DnD, we like to say, "Bad rolls and bad choices make for great stories." It's a lovely way of holding outcomes loosely and investing in the collaborative spirit of the game over any particular destination. In coaching, we just get curious. "We seem to have made a left turn where you were expecting to go right. What does that tell you? What's new here?"

As for me, do I actually approach coaching as a Dungeon Master? Nope--I'm a Bard. Now, those of you familiar with DnD (especially the Critical Role fans) just got an image of a lute-strumming lothario and y'all need to chill--that is obviously not the kind of bard or coach I am. For those less familiar with this class of player, from the handbook: "...A bard weaves magic through words ...to inspire allies, demoralize foes, manipulate minds, create illusions, and even heal wounds." I am not manipulating anyone's mind, ever, and healing wounds is more your therapist's job than mine (though it can happen in coaching, it is not the primary focus). The rest totally stands.

Ultimately, playing DnD is all about collaborative story telling. So as both Coach and Bard, I'd like to ask: what's your story? Is it turning out how you wanted it to? Where are you in the narrative? Who are the heroes and villains--and how many are speaking to you from within your own heart and mind? What illusions might have you stuck in place? What would be possible if the whole narration of your tale was in your hands? What truly inspires you?

If those questions resonate with you, and you're curious about rolling the dice and taking a chance on me, please book an Exploratory Session. I can't wait to hear your story.

Let's adventure!